We make many choices every day, and our choices govern our lives. The answer to the above questions and the myriad of similar questions would seem to be definitely in the negative. Events in life are just events to be dealt with one way or another. Of course you cannot control what other people do, say, or think. There are such a lot of things all around us that affect our lives but are outside of our control.

Because of this, there is a school of thought that our lives are predestined or preordained. Could this be right? Are we nothing in the world but bits of flotsam to be sloshed this way and that with every wave and wind on life’s ocean? If you believe in this way, then you accept that you have no say in where you end up, no say in the outcome, no option but to just go along with everything that happens. This is going toward the victim mentality of focusing on the negative impacting events that you have suffered through and accepting that this is your lot in life, what you deserve for whatever reason you attribute it to.

The epiphany comes when you realize that you have chosen to think that way. You have chosen to be a victim. You have chosen to just follow along, to pay the price, to wait for your good luck to come around. When you become consciously aware that you have chosen to be exactly where you are is the moment that you also become consciously aware that you can choose to change your life and be anywhere you want to be.

At this point, you become aware of the first choice you need to make. Will you wait for your destiny to catch up with your life; for your good luck to finally take over from all the bad luck you have had so far; wait for your ship to come in; expect that all good things come to those who wait? This is the Waiting Place described so wonderfully in the book “Oh, the Places You'll Go!” by Dr. Seuss. The title then becomes not “Oh the Places You’ll Go!” But “Oh, the Places You Can go if You have the Courage!”

When will you realize that you don’t have to wait? You, me, all of us, can control what we think about. In fact, what we think about is the only thing that is totally within our control and no one else can tell us what to think without us first agreeing that it is okay for them to think for us. You have to voluntarily give up control of your thoughts - it cannot be taken away from you without your permission.

You can choose your thoughts, choose to reject certain ways of thinking and overlay other thought processes at your will and of your own choosing alone.

Knowing this simple fact is the key to the change that we are seeking in our lives. The saying ‘If you think you can you can, and if you think you can’t you can’t” attributed to Henry Ford is not new to anyone, so why would it be that people still don’t actually apply this? The first thought becomes a choice. Will you wait for it, or will you go for it.

Here is the break down into a simple formula:

Your thoughts → Your words → Your actions → Your circumstance = Your LIFE.

Chapter 1 - The choices we make.
Chapter 2 – Jobs and career paths.
Chapter 3 – Friends and associates.
Chapter 4 – Risk as the primary limiting factor.
Chapter 5 – Bold steps and the fear of loss. (Fortune favors the bold. Act boldly and unseen forces will come to your aid.)
Chapter 6 – Rules imposed from without. Do we bury our dreams because we have been told it would be reckless to follow them? Do the sensible thing.
Chapter 7 - What would it take to allow you to 'go for it'
Chapter 8 - Why do some people choose to go for it but most don't?
Chapter 9 – Security. Is the desire to ensure future security just a mask for our fear of failure?
Chapter 10 – Poverty and being meek. They have nothing to lose, so why are they still in poverty?
Chapter 11 – Being rich. You have a goal to be rich? Then ask... Why am I not rich already? Answers show you what you need to do and almost invariably it will show that you have let fear limit you and shackle you to your poverty.
Chapter 12 - Self determination vs. pre-destined. Will you wait for it, or will you go for it?

Chapter 1
The choices we make.

There is nothing quite as malleable as the brain of a human being at birth. After hundreds of thousands of years of life on the planet, we, the big brained homo sapiens are just start to realize the potential that is, and always has been, within every single one of us is limited only by our own thought process. If the mental faculties are intact, the unlimited potential is absolutely unaffected by physical deformity.

Our first formative years are where our language, mannerisms, attitudes, prejudices and most of our character are programmed by those who are taking care of us. We know that religion has followed this line and that people will profess the religion of their parents and of the society in which they were raised. They will harbor the likes and dislikes of the group in which they were raised and especially of those who enter their lives and become role models. The teachers and mentors and father figures are critical in making us the people we end up later in life.

So, is it fair to then be forced to have to take full responsibility for our situation in life? As a child it is more difficult to see that wider picture and most people simply do believe that their situation is the result of their circumstances. To say that “he is just the product of his environment” is often used especially when youths are being unruly or showing anti social behavior. Is it right to punish, or should we strive to teach instead. Not teach rote the ABCs, but teach this concept of self determination in order that the “delinquent” can understand exactly what is happening and why. If he is not satisfied, rather than lash out and continue to suffer the retribution that such actions always bring, he can look within and start a change of thought process which will start to make a positive change.

Most people are not aware that it is even possible to overcome the first feeling of being “destined” to have to live this deprived or very unsatisfying life. The message then is one of self empowerment and it starts with a thought. It will get better soon, or, I will make it better soon. Will I wait for it or will I go for it?

Are you super busy in your life? Sure you are! We all are. We have been taught that “hard work is its own reward” and that can be true, but like everything, is subject to qualifying external factors. So, here we go again, will we be sloshed around or will we steam on forward on our unrelenting way? Will you go determinedly forward on your course, or will you wait for the wind to be blowing in the right direction. Only you get to decide that question. Interestingly, to go forward determinedly is a conscious choice; to wait for the wind to be in the right direction is most commonly the default mind set.

Here is the first step in the path – to step way back from our lives and take stock of where we are and why we are there and what we are going to do about it.

Step back. Once you become aware of your own thoughts and start listening to your own self talk you start to become present. You start to understand that it is now and that your life is taking place right here right now and that this is not a rehearsal. The real game is on and we need to be playing as if we intended to win by controlling the play and not just letting the play happen and accepting the score. How do you control the play? You control the play with the only factor that is within your total and exclusive control, your thoughts.

So start to think about your circumstances. Take a good hard and objective look at your own life right now, and be totally bloody minded about it. Stop excusing your poor performance because you were disadvantaged with your schooling when you were young. It is really because the boss is unfairly favoring other people more than you that you are not getting a promotion or salary raise? That shabby home is not because of the others in the neighborhood. All things about you are because of you, full stop. If you cannot get that far, then stop reading this book right now and get back to your life because clearly you have made a decision consciously or unconsciously that you like it that way and don’t want to change a thing. That cannot be the case or you would not have read this far, so let’s move on.

Let’s agree that we are where we are because of the choices that we have made throughout our lives right up to this present moment. Once that it is clear to you that given the choices that you have made your life could not possibly have had any other outcome, you are present. With that realization you have accepted that you are responsible for everything about your circumstances as they are at this moment be they good or not so good, desirable or undesirable, great or terrible, it is all your own work and not due to any other event or action.

Chapter 2
Jobs and career paths

It is especially important to choose the work that you do. People are entirely defined by the work that they do. “She’s married to a doctor.” “He’s a clergyman.” “She is an accountant.” People are invariably defined by their profession more than by any other factor in their lives. You are not a person who likes to swim at the beach, play chess, has a great appreciation for fine wine, is great with kids, or any other pastime activity. You are defined first by your working life; by the things you do for others for which you receive remuneration. And it says a great deal about you for the choice you have made when it comes to the path you will take to earn a living.

The people who excel in their professional life are invariably the ones who love what they are doing and do it for that reason. It takes dedication to become an accomplished musician and not one such person was a “natural talent”. No matter what you may have been told, anyone who achieves anything worthwhile did so with a lot of very hard work over a very long timeframe. But that doesn’t mean that working in an area of activity that you enjoy and gives you great satisfaction is out of reach. In fact, it is quite to the contrary. Everything is within your reach one way or another. The size of the goal simply determines the level of effort required to find the way rather than copping out and saying that there is no way.

Take a good hard look at what you do for a living and ask yourself “Is this just a job that I do so that I get paid and that is all?” If so, then you need to ask some further questions to get your mind moving in directions that perhaps you have never thought about before. “What sort of work would I really love to do?” and then, “Why am I not doing that work right now?” The answer to the last question give you a clear direction on what you should be doing. You will have trotted out all the lame excuses that you have always used; my schooling wasn’t good enough, I never had time to acquire the skills, I am in the wrong place, etc etc.

The next question to ask yourself then is “What is the very first step that I need to take to get me started toward working in the field that I really will enjoy?” If you don’t know what the first step is, then you need to ask someone who will know. Find people already working in the business that you would want to work and ask them how to start; ask them what the requirements are; find out all the rules and regulations. If you get an overwhelming amount of information, then simply lay it all out for your new found mentor and ask; What is the most important thing that should be done or accomplished first, and second, and third, and so on. Write it down it out in prioritized order and you have your map, the destination or goal is now clearly marked and you can see the path that leads directly to it.

This process not only works but it is the only process that does work. No one will tap you on the shoulder and invite you to join their corporation in a fantastic highly paid position. Those in the jobs now are not lucky; they didn’t end up in the plumb jobs by accident. You won’t accidentally land a great job either, but you will achieve the goal if you set it out as a project with all the required elements clearly identified, prioritized, given a time frame for accomplishment, and most importantly - getting started.

Chapter 3
Friends and associates

Have you taken a good close look at your friends lately? Did you choose your friends, or did you just end up hanging out with whoever you find yourself working with at the time? Charlie in dispatch and Harry from accounts may be great guys, but are they helping you move forward in your life or holding you back with a constant cycle of time wasting activities?

If you find yourself super comfortable with the group of friends that you have, there is nothing wrong with that and good friends contribute in no small way to your quality of life. But it will benefit you enormously in your personal development is you have some in your circle of friends who are above you in accomplishment and who challenge you to push yourself a little harder toward your personal goals, career objectives, family plans, or whatever you would wish to work toward a better outcome of situation.

Chapter 4
Risk as the primary limiting factor

Just that you are reading this text and you got this far clearly shows that you are looking for how you can improve your circumstances, start to move toward a better living standard. You will be starting to realize the ways that you need to organize your time and actions. You demonstrate that you want to change something about your life, right?

So what is holding you back? Often it is that there is a risk involved if you change the structure of your existence. How you do things now is sort of working, you are getting by, job is not so great but it pays, friends are the ones that you get together with to talk about how tough it is and how soul destroying life is just trying to get by. No one is very happy, but no one wants to step out because after all, what happens if you don’t get a paycheck this week? Disaster! You are only just holding your head above the water so don’t make waves or you get hurt.

Okay, got it, and STOP!

All the perceived disasters of stepping out and being a bit adventurous only exist in your mind.

The key is to perform a full stock take of your circumstances as they are right now. Get it all out on the table, the bills, the letters, the contracts, the pay slips, everything. Put all the positive things on the right, and all the negative things on the left. Now you can see it all and you can prioritize what you are going to pay attention to and what you are going to ignore.

Bills, there will be some that you must pay, some that you should pay, and some that you maybe can put off till much later or never. Get that done and now you can see the financial requirements for now and for later.

Do the same for the job and income. Focus on that and challenge yourself to find ways to improve your income. Ask the boss for a raise, quietly make enquiries at other places where you may get better pay. Look at all that junk in your life and work out how it can be converted into cash to pay off a bill and save yourself from having to store it all any longer. Break it down and become minimalist to give yourself a better chance in the future.

The critical issue is that your fear of the risk is the limiting factor, so that is what must be addressed or you are never going to move forward.

Chapter 5
Bold steps and the fear of loss

Fortune favors the bold. Act boldly and unseen forces will come to your aid. This is a famous quote and without doubt it is a truism that you can test for yourself.

But what is this kind of mumbo jumbo all about. What “unseen forces” are hanging around just waiting for us to “act boldly”? To find this out, perhaps we can let our imagination take us along that road to see where it may lead.

First thing required is that you will “act boldly” but of course, before you can “act” you have to have first figured out exactly what is it that you are going to do. To act means to set your course, to put your plan into action, to get moving on the predetermined course.

Every chapter in this post challenges you to make a change, to look hard at what you need to do to make a positive change in your circumstances. So in each case you will be armed with your thought out plan and maybe it is time for action. First part of any plan is to gather in all the resources that you have at your disposal that may help you in any way with the achievement of your end goal. So you have a list of what you need, and who may be able to help you with the various requirements.

Once you get this far along, you are already starting to “act”, you made your plan and now you are working the plan. Baby steps at the start but always with the goal fixed in your mind and marking off even the tiniest step taking you closer to it. Nothing succeeds like success, and making tiny improvements give you courage to start to “act boldly” and this is where the magic will happen.

As people around you start to see what you are doing, believe it or not, most will want to help you along with whatever they can contribute. Perhaps just a word of advice, maybe a recommend for where you can purchase important items at a better price, perhaps put you in touch with someone they know who will become instrumental in making big strides in the plan. These are the unseen forces that will come to your aid. They are unseen because until you get started, there is no way that you could know about them. They turn up just when you need them. And one success will knock on to more success and you will soon become unstoppable in your mission to achieve your original goal and way more than you could ever imagine.

Chapter 6
Rules imposed from without

Do we bury our dreams because we have been told it would be reckless to follow them? Do the sensible thing.

In every plan and you moving along on your mission into your brighter future, you will inevitably encounter some head winds. In the previous chapter we discussed how you will have people magically turn up who can help you in many ways. But beware because once you start to enjoy some success, there sill be people who will put obstacles in your path.

I worked with a guy who seemed to be determined to throw negative thoughts at anyone who had a plan to do anything. He would listen to an explanation of how something needed to be done, and start with his favorite expression of “Ah yeah, but the only snag with that is….” And go on to throw whatever nonsense he could seemingly just for the fun of watching people roll their eyes.

More seriously, there could be rules imposed by government agencies, tax rules, licenses to obtain, affiliations with industry bodies required, accreditation or certification to be obtained, on and on, could be a lot of things. None of these are game changers, just speed bumps along the way. When challenged by these, do your usual process of finding out exactly what is needed to fulfil the requirement, break that down into the parts to be completed in turn, find out who may be able to help you satisfy some paperwork or requirement, and simply get it done. These things are not impossible, just put there to challenge you and give you a great buzz once you slay yet another dragon on your way to success.

Chapter 7
What would it take to allow you to 'go for it'

Are you really ready for the challenge? If the answer is “not sure” then that is fine, it only means that the path has not crystallized in your mind for what you really want to do.

The key is to visualize where you want to be. Set a series of goals across at least three time frames. First goal is short term. What do you want your life to look like in 6 months from now if you make a decision to get started formulating your plan today. Will you have the plan written out, have the list of tasks to get busy completing, made out a list of resources you can enlist to help you along the way with the capacity in which you think they can help. Work on getting that much done and have a deadline for completion and stick to it and get it done. You are on your way!

What will your circumstances be in 1 year after commencement of your plan of action at the 6 months mark. Will you improve your income, trim your expenses, minimize your outlay to allow you to build a business start up fund in a special bank account?

Then the big one, the 5 year plan. Visualize how that will feel to be successful and to be well on your way to a more success oriented and fulfilling life for yourself and your family. If you can visualize it, you can achieve it as long as you keep focused on the goal and never give up.

Chapter 8
Why do some people choose to go for it but most people don't?

Quite simply, some people are ready for the challenge, and others are not. It is not an easy path to follow, and especially difficult at the start because it requires a change in your thinking, your attitude, and your behavior. And people will laugh at you!

This is the watershed time where either you will allow yourself to become discouraged and just give up and start trying to convince yourself that you are perfectly happy with the status quo anyway, or it is the time where you will firm your resolve and use the downers to make you even more determined to see your plan through.

It is no different to why are some people able to follow a diet and succeed with weight loss and keep the weight off, but most can’t. Same story for quitting smoking where it is a great plan, but you fail and excuse yourself with platitudes like “I am not a quitter.”

So look around, there is a sea of mediocracy that everyone is swimming in and the status quo is just fine for most people and they actually resent anyone who is trying to do better for themselves mostly because they are afraid that they would have to admit to themselves that they are losers.

Chapter 9
Sacrifices

You are already fully occupied with all your normal activities, work, family life, recreational pursuits, hobbies, movies, internet groups, on and on, the list is quite long with how you use your time day by day.

If you are feeling that you need to make a change, move your life in a different direction, find a new path to get a different outcome, then what must change? Obviously that list of your daily activities has to change. On the list are things that you must do, and things that you like to do. The must do things are most likely first to earn an income to cover the bills. Then you may also have an obligation to spend time with family and those near and dear to you.

The only way that you will know what is going to be needed first is to make a detailed list of all those things that you currently spend your time doing. Take your time doing this, and at the end of every day just jot down some notes on what you did, with whom, where, and for how long. Be honest, if you work hard, do some overtime and that helps to get a big bill paid, all fine. But if you have a favorite TV program that you don’t want to miss, or a group of friends who meet up just to hang out and just chit chat with over a couple of drinks, you need to brutally look at how worthwhile that activity is.

Pretty soon you will start to see where the essential things use your time, and exactly how much time must be allocated to them. But if you are like most people, you will be shocked to learn of the huge amount of time that just goes by every day with a zero result for any benefit to you. Everyone needs a little relaxation time, and needs to be kind to themselves by getting a full night’s sleep, so don’t skimp on those times. But if you regularly spend a couple of hours in a chat room shooting the breeze with people who just like to comment on current affairs or rant about this politician or that world leader, that is the golden time that you are looking for to be diverted back to activities that are going to make a difference for how your future will unfold.

So, it is a matter of sacrifice. If you are going to change, then you have to change something you are doing, maybe even something that you really do enjoy doing, but in fact is worthless to you in the long run. It is mental bubble gum, it is a rocking chair on the verandah, it is just putting your future life on hold while you watch the world turn.

Do the math on the time you find that you can salvage from activities that are of little or no value to you in building a better future for yourself. This is the first building block to get set in place, your time budget, the first tool you will need to start to move yourself toward your goal, and the activities you have to sacrifice to do it, I promise you after a couple of weeks you will wonder why you wasted so much time.

Chapter 10
Poverty and being meek

"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth" (Matthew 5:5).

This is a good stand-by phrase to quote when someone is looking for an excuse because they don’t want to stand up and be counted or to actively do what has to be done to get big things accomplished for themselves and family.

Just to get past this “meek” thing, lets check what that word really means. For most it means that they are quiet, gentle, inoffensive, humble, slow to anger, and usually very pious thinking that makes them more praiseworthy.

I also find this description, “Meekness is essentially an attitude or quality of heart whereby a person is willing to accept and submit without resistance to the will and desire of someone else.”

If you read some of my other material, you will surely know that I am not a big fan of religion. I have had my religious era, likely I can quote more scripture and have a better grasp of the contents of the bible than most Christians, and thanks to decades of study, research, and sifting through all the available evidence, I find no need for any of it in my life.

So, if I show a little contempt for this teaching about the meek inheriting the earth you won’t be surprised. How many people that you can describe as “meek” have you met who are the CEO or manager of any profitable company? What do meek people actually do that qualifies them to inherit the earth? This is irrational and it is actually a lesson for all of us that the only inheritance that the meek will be entitled to is a life of poverty and meaningless servitude and usually exploited by the closest religious group or cult for their usefulness doing boring mundane tasks without complaining.

In order to live a meaningful life and do good and even great things for yourself and your loved ones, you need to get up and take hold of life with both hands and make a determined effort to make the best use of your time and talents as you possibly can.

Chapter 11
Being rich

You have a goal to be rich? Then ask... Why am I not rich already?

All the answers you think of in response to this challenge will show you what you need to do starting today to set yourself on the path to riches… well, how about financial security for a start?

It is key to determining just what is that we fear most and is holding us back. It may even be an unconscious fear that you are harboring and because you have not pulled that fear out, looked long and hard at it, and faced it down and got on with the business of achieving your goals. You are sure to find that the fear you have can’t stand being examined and will collapse almost immediately because you will know what you have to do to conquer it, and good news is that it won’t be nearly as hard as your fear made you think it was.

Now there are some schools of thought that argue that some people have a feeling of low self-esteem, and after they work hard and achieve a degree of success and start to become financially secure, have an unconscious reaction to that situation that they don’t deserve it, and engage in self-destructive behavior that will bring them back to where their self-image more closely matches their circumstances. Likely such individual would benefit from some counselling or training program where they are in contact with other people who are achievement oriented.

Others have tended to be overly entrepreneurial, risk takers, extraverted, larger than life and have a go-for-it attitudes all the time. I have met people like this, and they jokingly say that actually they must unconsciously enjoy being broke because they keep going back to that condition no matter how many times they are successful in various ventures.

That is the two ends of the spectrum for personality types and hopefully you are in the large group in the middle who are careful, organized, goal oriented, and steadfastly follow their plan until they achieve the inevitable breakthrough.

It is important that in our quest for find the right way for ourselves to be successful is to find some role models. Search for highly successful businesspeople who conduct themselves in a way that you feel comfortable with emulating yourself. Then start the study of those individuals for just what they do that makes them successful. Often your ideal plan will be a blend of several such people or just a general trend that they all adopt that attracts you. One thing is certain is that if you want to get the same results as those successful people, then you need to study what they do, and then go and do the same things in your world. It is as simple as that.

Chapter 12
Pre-destined vs. Self determination

Will you wait for it, or will you go for it? Lets look at the scenarios of those people with a mind set in each of these opposing camps.

Pre-destined? Are you in this camp with a belief that people who are highly successful were always going to be successful, and losers were always going to be losers. It just doesn’t stand scrutiny, like all such cliched arguments. I won’t bother to go into this because the world if full of stories of inspiration of people going from rags to riches and none of them are “accidental” successes. They became successful because the chose to get out there and make a plan, set some goals, work out the list of requirements, prioritized the list, and got to work putting the plan into action.

Self determination? In the paragraph above, I have already described how a person who has the inspiration to make a change in their life can do so. It all starts in your mind. Everything in the world today started as a thought in the mind of someone who then got into action.

The formula from W. Clement Stone who started a huge insurance empire is my personal favorite when I feel I need to rearrange my attitude:

Direct your Thoughts - Control your Emotions - Ordain your Destiny.

So, to circle back to where we started, here is the breakdown of the formula:

Your thoughts become your words...
Your words become your actions...
Your actions become your circumstances...
Your circumstances are your LIFE.

Just remember that this formula works! It works every time!

BUT…….. it works in both directions!!

If your thoughts are negative and destructive, your words will follow that way. As your words will morph into your actions, you will only reap negative destructive circumstances and a very unhappy life for yourself and everyone who comes close to you. Direct your thoughts and control your emotions to ordain your destiny!

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